Leave it to me to write about yet another controversal topic....haha.
Well, at least to many stay-at-home moms it can be. It seems like lately I have heard a lot of talk about Babywise and why it's not all it's cracked up to be, or that it simply is "cruel".
Today, I'm going to share with you MY thoughts on the subject.
First, I would say that I am a "natural" mother. I try my best to buy mostly organic fruits and vegetables, hormone-free poultry, we don't vaccinate (that's a WHOLE 'notha topic in and of itself!), we use natural cleaners, breastfeed, etc, etc.....
So, just keep that in mind when I explain my point of view.
Also, because some of you have PRE-CONCEIVED IDEAS about the whole thing (and closed minds), you won't believe what you're going to read here anyway, so you might as well stop reading. :)
AND let me just say that BOTH my kids sleep 11-12 hours a night WITH a 1 1/2- 3 hour nap in between.
Before I had my first child, the only "parenting" method I had heard of was Babywise. (Remember, I was only 19!) I heard about it from my sister and she kindly loaned me some cassette tapes expounding on the subject. I was really intrigued when I heard the lectures explaining how children crave predictability. It all made sense....Wake, Eat, (Play), Sleep.
Also, before they EVER even explained the cycle, the book talks about how parents need to have a loving relationship with each other, otherwise your child can detect that and sense tension, which will put the baby constantly on edge. Babies are smarter than we think. I really loved that part...
They talked about how children long to have this same cycle (Wake, Eat (play), Sleep) everyday because it helps put their metabolisms on the right track. Also, when children eat and then sleep, it causes a cycle that can later lead to being overweight because your child is not "working off" the food they just ate. ALSO, makes total sense. I'm pretty sure that's what happened to me...lol
Throughout the books and lectures that I have read and listened to, they frequently warn about "hyper-scheduling". No child should be expected to stick to a rigid schedule and starved when they're really hungry, just because it's "not time to eat" yet. Also, neglecting your baby when he or she cries "because you're letting them cry it out" is also wrong. Neglecting is always wrong! Babywise is so the opposite of that, I can't even tell you.
First of all, letting your baby "cry it out" IS OK! WAIT BEFORE YOU TUNE OUT! Babywise stresses that you must "trouble shoot" in a sense. Find out what the baby needs or wants....does he/she have a dirty diaper, did they spit up in bed, are they cold/hot, maybe the ARE hungry.....after doing this, you can then confidently put your baby to sleep KNOWING that he/she doesn't need anything and is just fussy at bedtime or naptime. This is called using your parental instincts, people!
I think this is where all of the "bad talk" about Babywise comes from. I think people are making pre-conceived opinions about a book that encourages "hyper-scheduling", which is so far from the truth. Putting your baby on a FLEXIBLE schedule IS GOOD FOR THEM. Like I said, babies crave predictability. It makes them feel SAFE and SECURE.
I am NOT saying put your baby on a schedule and NEGLECT them! On the contrary! It makes it easier for me to love on my kids because they are happier on a schedule! And when I say "schedule" I mean giving them a Wake, Eat, Sleep cycle when it works best for them throughout the day.
Every 4 hours worked great with Ruby, but it was more like every 3 with Sawyer, it really just depended on the day. By 6 weeks, both of them were sleeping through the night.
Now, let me just tell you that I have always done a "bedtime routine" or "naptime routine" to make it EASIER for my kids to fall asleep. I rock them, sing to them, read books to them before bed so it prepares their body for bed (Babywise encourages this). Then, when I know they have everything they need, they sleep. Yes, they may fuss or even cry for a few minutes, but it's just simply because they're tired.
Honestly, more than just a few of my friends can't believe that my kids sleep 12 hours a night AND take naps during the day! I'm telling you, it's all about using your parental instincts, your brain, and putting them on a flexible routine while meeting their needs and loving them!
So, YES, I have used Babywise and I WOULD recommend it to any smart, concerned parent out there. YOU are the judge of what's best for your child.
Also, I would like to say that I do NOT think ill of ANY parent that chooses to co-sleep or is a follower of "attachment- parenting". Every family is different, every child is different. But, in my opinion, putting your baby on a flexible routine is GOOD for them. :)
As always, thanks for reading! :)